I feel weird. I don't know how to feel. But I hate the feeling of not knowing anything. The feeling that will either make you happy or sad when you know the outcome.
I don't know what to do or say. I don't know how I should address a letter to my generation. People always said "Sing it in person". But is it that really easy? Is it always worth it? Do they open up when you do? Will she? Will they? Will you?

Why do I feel like you're not worth my time? Or either I'm not worth yours. Why do I feel like my life is going down anyway? What is this feeling? I don't know. Who am I? Who are you? How can I help? How can I continue living with no risks? Everything seems so blur so unusual, but I know that if I don't do it, if I don't get to work, I know, I won't get it. Can I multitask? Will I get through? Everything comes with a prize, but everyone else seems to be happier than me. Everyone seems to be able to live a life capable of doing more, capable of doing what they really want.

I don't know how I should feel.

Today my band ATL and some other friends went for a jam session today!
ATL:

• Azneil
• Firdaus
• P
• Khai
• Clement

Others:

• Nicholas Phang
• Christopher Thein

Met P and Fir at Hougang Station. During that time when they are not with me, on my trip to Hougang Mall Interchange/Station; I have a feeling many many of the girls there are staring at me. I don't know what for but is that their first time seeing a rocker kids? Don't tell me they think I'm emo.

Met Azneil and Khai at Farrer Park. Great to see my bandmates again. I love them, we're According to Love, what do you expect?

Met Nicholas and Christopher at Farrer Park too. We went to the jamming studio. Seven of us, the odd one is me, because I don't smoke ._.
Jammed some songs! had some fun, messed around. Man I really wish I had straplocks to fucking make my guitar not come out when I flip it. But today's session was "okay", all of us was rusty. Can't believe I played the There's No Sympathy For the Dead solo better on the Epiphone SG Special than on my own. But I believe it's the amp that was awesome and was the one that gave the great sound.

Jamming ended and followed the guys around and then I went to church. Felt abit pissed, because I feel rather lonely and non-acceptant.

Went home.

Wonder where is that person now.

Source:
http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/music/features/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=7045588&imageindex=1

1) You actually use the headphones that came with your iPod.

2) When asked the best gig you went to recently, you reply 'Glastonbury'.

3) You've bought an 'authentic-looking' band t-shirt from Topman.

4) You think Guns N Roses are a really 'heavy' band.

5) You think gigs that aren't in arenas are 'intimate'.

6) On your Facebook profile you describe your music taste as 'I like a bit of everything really!!!'

7) You think support bands exist purely to give you time to go to the bar.

8) You think Jo Whiley knows what she's talking about.

9) You can't remember the last time you bought a CD...

10) ...But you can remember that AMAZING Leona Lewis song you downloaded the other day.

11) You buy an album because you liked the single, and then skip through all the other tracks just to listen to it.

12) You think people who talk about bands you haven't heard of are pretentious.

Last night, I had this very weird dream. I don't wish to go into detail but it's kindda cool. It's like Me, Some friend, Nagahraj and some friend whom I can't remember who, went on a vacation to this area/land/country where we don't recognise. But the area was kindda cool, theme parks and everything. But one thing I don't understand is, I went back to my hotel room, found one of my friend watching a movie so I watched with him. And then, I dreamt about the movie.

The movie/show/anime-like TV thing is somehow alittle related to Ergo Proxy, because of the use of words like "AutoReivs" and the area settings.

Let me explain the background of the movie in dream, (Note: Everything is NOT real, it's a dream in a dream thing. In addition, some of the mentioned properties might be related to the anime, Ergo Proxy)
In the dream of the dream I'm in, the atmosphere is rather empty, the skies are almost cloudless and the sky instead of our normal light blue or whitish blue sky, it's a standard blue (with little shades of whitish grey) and gradients with dark purplish skies from afar. Night and Day are hard to distinguish since the skies has always been purple or blue. There's no presence of the moon, stars or sun.

Is this Earth? If so how did Earth become like this?
From my assumption, since this dream is related to Ergo Proxy, I guess the Methane Hydrate layer on Earth exploded, later covering the skies, though they don't cloud up they become the "sky" itself.
At one scene I was in, I and abunch of people who I don't know (but they represent certain people in my own real life) came out of a cavern like thingy, In front of us is like an ocean with very little rocks or landforms, but about few kilometers we can see tower-like structures on landforms. But we realised the ocean, despite being so huge that we can't see any main land from where we are, it's freakin' shallow. So basically we can travel across this ocean on foot! The rocks and rubbles around us very reddish or brownish. From my assumption, this rocks must have contained metal properties and due to the the atmosphere they tend to give off the reddish, brownish colour (I don't know if this is true, but I had alot of thinking after I woke up).

We traveled to the nearest tower-like structure I mentioned earlier (and for a moment the ruins looked abit like Singapore's MRT station =D) and some AutoReiv thingy (some shitty robot) from the other tower-like structure come rushing at us and I shouted "SHIT! Auto-Spy!" (I did thinking on that, and I actually wondered why the fuck I said AutoSpy instead of AutoReiv, but I was thinking of AutoPSY while saying it)

Anyways.. anything beyond that dream that happened, I can't tell you here because it's too weird.. this dream has too many background, but I believe it'll come back one day again.

Note to Self:
Who was she?

Note to Self:

• Raison de'tre
• I Think, Therefore I Am (Cogito ergo sum)
• Want to Try Dying This Once?

I've been looking around for some stuff to embed onto this blog so that you would stay here long enough to freak yourself out.
I don't think I'll be putting that Pocket Emo application anymore. It's rather troublecome and boring, but I'm trying to find some stuff to freak people who comes to my blog.

The music isn't enough, but anyway I need more cool readers for my blog. I don't know why there isn't much people reading it anyway. Maybe I scared them away.
This isn't my first time blogging though. But I guess I shall make my blog posts much more happier.

I have this feeling I might suffer the same fate as my aunt (the one who passed away last year).
I've Flu, Cold and Cough since last TWO weeks, but it's settling now, ain't so bad. But like my aunt, My body is beginning to ache. Past few days it was the left side of my back that's rather frozen. Today, 17 September 2009, my heart/lung is rather heavy today. If I breath in too deep, my back and chest will hurt. When I jump my heart or lungs (I don't know which) will seem heavy and it'll hurt ALOT if I jump higher. Infact I can't jump higher than an estimated 7 cm of height. I don't know what's happening to my body but I'll let it pass and just pray for some of God's help. Anyway I don't know how I got this body condition. I'm fine and I'm eating well. Maybe it's stress, I don't know.

I'll be putting messages that isn't really ment for anyone else, but for myself.
and it'll be in the form of :

Note to Self:

• etc
• etc
• etc

so basically that's something you don't really need to care

Q: why would you read things to yourself anyway? it's a blog, others will read.
A: because I'm too lazy to remember and since I'll be blogging I'll just write them over here


Anyways, I've been watching lots of anime lately. I haven't been studying properly since. But at least I know more than I used to.
I do recommend you guys to watch Ergo Proxy and Jigoku Shoujo. This two anime are very beautiful. Jigoku Shoujo (meaning Hell Girl, and after watching three seasons) almost made me cry. I wanted to cry actually but, I hold my tears because I thought it might be inappropreiate for me to cry like this. But really, the anime endings are the saddest of all and Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae (Season 3) 's last few episode was the saddest of all.

I do hope I won't blog as much, I don't wanna be some whore or bitch who really only knows how to rant here and there and do nothing.
This time I guess things over at this blog will be more on the happy stuff I'll introduce you.

Note to Self:

• Re-l
• Ippen Shindemaru?
• Raison de'tre
  

Hey guys!

I'm back.. I don't know how many people are gonna read my blog, But I'mma attract nice and non spamming readers.
I currently have nothing else to do so I improved on my blog

This blog is rather weird to some, I don't care.
I like it this way.

New Again